The New Diary

Greetings all you blog readers-

Another thing I like to blog about is movies. I have Netflix, and enjoy chosing the more obscure movies rather than the big titles my sister often chooses.

I recently Netflixed the movie Prozac Nation. As someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar disorder, this movie was pretty high on my to-rent list. It is based on the biographical book by the same name, authored by Elizabeth Wurtzel. The main character Lizzie (played fantastically by Christina Ricci) comes from a broken home. She does not have a realationship with her father other than resentment, and her relationship with her mother could be described as, well, insane. She goes to college at Harvard, thinking things will be different but she quickly falls back into an atypical depression. She begins to do drugs (coke, e, pot), sleep with multiple partners, and very quickly becomes "the Harvard bag-lady". Her relationships quickly unravel at the seams and she struggles to get back to being normal. At one point her psychiatrist prescribes her prozac. Anne Heche plays a fairly convincing shrink here. The tear-jerker moment for me was a scene where Lizzie is at the home of Dr. Sterling and decides to go upstairs and slit her wrists. Dr. Sterling comes upstairs and looks very disappointed, then her child comes to see what all the commontion is about. The look Anne Heche gives to this powerful moment is amazing.

One line she says in the movie sticks to me, she describes her hitting rock bottom as "gradually, then suddenly" and then at the end claims her recovery was also "gradually, then suddenly". For someone who has been there, to that dark place you always find yourself, this hit the nail on the head. I didn't just all of a sudden "get" BPD. It came on gradually, then suddenly when the last block got pulled out from under me. My recovery will also need to be gradually, then suddenly.

One might almost conclude that Elizabeth Wurtzel may have also been borderline - she fits at least 5 of the diagnostic criteria. Borderline Personality disorder and severe clinical depression are often seen together, as is BPD and other mental illness. As a BP dating a non-BP, I have a difficult time conveying to my boyfriend what it's like to be like this. I normally turn to the movie Girl, Interrupted as the main character (Susanna Kaysen - played by Winona Ryder) is formally diagnosed with BPD, but I almost feel this movie portrays the extreme low points we hit and Girl, Interrupted gives the more understand/comprehend side.

Had I not already sent it back, this would be the one I would chose for me and Jon to watch tonight.


And, good luck finding the song that they play on the end credits ANYWHERE. It is called "You Can Take What's Left of Me" by Nathan Larson. I had to buy the CD FilmMusik to get it.


Overall, if you or someone you love is depressed or has a mental illness - this is a must-see. For all others, the acting and the music is enthralling enough that I'd say you should still see it.

Big names in this movie include : Christina Ricci, Jason Biggs, Anne Heche, Michelle Williams, Jonathan Ryhs Meyers and Jessica Lange.

Of note, Christina Ricci was a co-producer of the film.