having a heart to heart (when you hate confrontation)

Hello readers!

As my close friends know, I'm having some problems with my sister. The number one problem being that I have paid our rent for most of April, all of June, July, August, and now September. The amount of money she owes me has exceeded $2000... an amount which I can no longer justify "putting off", especially now that we've gotten another eviction notice. Prior to living with her, I had never had an eviction notice in my life, not even way back when when Matt #1 and I had a $1100/mo rent payment and we were both making LESS THAN $10/hr. I've already talked to the office, and I will be getting them a check by Friday, but where do I draw the line?

We can not break the lease without paying for the remaining 5 months, to a total of $4500. Once we no longer live together, the likelihood of her paying me back decreases to almost nothing, as their rent will increase. I literally have been making myself sick over this, and I don't foresee it getting any better. On the plus side, the landlady wants to talk to me, alone, and I think it will be about breaking the lease.

So I talked to Laura last night when I got home. And it sucked, because I'm not a confrontational person. I always fear that the person is going to take what I say personally, when it is rarely personal at all. I just explained to her that the main reasons we moved in together were so that a)they would no longer need to live at my parents house in the middle of nowhere, b)my health would improve [not living alone hinders the suicidal tendencies and anti-socialness] and c)we could all save some money and get ourselves back on our feet. So far, only the first one has been accomplished. And that one is good for them, but is a non-issue for me.

I just hate feeling used and abused, ya know? That happens enough in my love life, it shouldn't in my family life.

My whole quality of life has actually decreased since we've been living together. I don't get to spend as much time doing stuff I like to do. I have to wear clothing at all times. I need to change my PIN number from something I've used for about oh, 10 years to something new because they know it and now are helping themselves to "borrowing" money that will never get paid back. My car is now at over 60,000 miles, and is a filthy disgusting mess. In the summer they would leave the A/C on day and night, raking up the electric bill (which I inevitably paid). I'll buy pop or food for ME and it disappears within a day, even if I mention that I'd like it to be not eaten.

Living alone sounds like a dream now.

I love my sister to death, literally. If this keeps up, I forsee another heart attack real soon.