What I want, what I need...

Hello! Greetings and Salutations!


So. In the last couple months or so I have discovered that dating sucks. I haven't ever really "dated"... most of my relationships are extreme "forever" commitment from the start, with me moving in instantaneously. So this is new for me.

Met guys that seem interested, then blow you off and never talk to you again. At least have the courtesy to tell me you're not interested.

Met guys who are not okay with me having a kid - which is fine, but I make no secret of having Kristen or my desire to have at least one more in the future and I expect to be told up front if you can't handle that before I develop any sort of feelings for you. Nothing sucks more than really liking someone only to find out they hate kids/don't want kids or don't want to be a semi-father to Kris.

After a few real disappointments I decided to list what I want out of dating someone.

1)I want someone who likes my personality and intelligence as much or more than my appearance/sex drive. I like to think I'm a nice, smart girl and nothing irks me more than a guy who can't wait to get in my pants. I need a guy who can hold a conversation about things other than sports or beer.

2)However, I am also still female. I like to be told I'm pretty. I like to be cuddled, fawned over... I like a guy who notices when I take the time to straighten my hair because it takes a long ass time or when I wear makeup because I don't do it often. I like a guy who likes to do the little things not because he has to but because he wants to. A single flower on a bad day can be worth more than a huge diamond necklace at Christmas.

3)I want a guy who can support himself. I worked really hard to get to where I am in life and I am so incredibly tired of lending exuberant amounts of money to a boyfriend and not ever getting it all back. I have no problem with paying my fair share or slightly more, but if you're *UNEMPLOYED* you better have a damn good reason and have a plan to start earning some income in the extremely near future - this girl don't want no scrubs!

4)I like a guy who is interested in culture and the arts. Call me lame, but I hang out with my girl friends to have "surface talk" as I call it. If my boyfriend wanted to talk about who he thinks Flavor Flav should pick on Flavor of Love 3 or who will be America's Next Top Model I'd be scared. It's not that I don't think my girlfriends are capable of discussing Dante's Inferno or their take on who the greatest visual artist is of our era, cause they very likely would be great to talk to about that... but I don't think that sort of stuff interests them. I like learning for the sake of learning and hope to find someone who does as well.

5)And on that topic, I want a guy who wants to meet my girlfriends. Who wants to go on lame double dates to the Venue with Jeri and Kent or to a mall and get lost for hours with Lauretta. These girls are my heart and soul and a gigantic part of my life. I'm tired of boyfriends who try to seclude me from the world. Be a man, grow some balls. Accept the fact that I am going to make time to see them and either come with or hang out with your own friends or alone. Likewise, I also will not piss and moan when you have somewhere to be that I don't want to go to.

6)I'm looking for something serious. Let's face it, I'm 25 with an almost 6 year old kid. I want to have a brother or sister for her before she's too old for them to know each other. My divorce was just finalized recently so I'm not looking to hop right back into marriage, but I'm not looking for a one-night, one-week, one-month sorta thing either.

7)I want a guy who either plays video games or has no opposition to playing video games. I apparantly spend a lot of time doing this and need someone who is accepting of this fact.

I personally don't think it should be this hard to find someone who fits into these things, but it is.

Grrr